I decided to come back to Nathan’s portrait since it was obvious that he didn’t like the first version.
He seems to prefer this one.
I also started to do blind drawings to train my right brain hemisphere. This consists of drawing a figure without looking at your hand. You can imagine that this is easier to say than to do : here are 4 drawings of a figure, only the bottom right one was done under eyesight control!
While doing so it became obvious that my spirit and my hand are asynchronous. My mind is always a few steps ahead of what my hand is drawing. That means that my left hemisphere is always planning what comes next instead of concentrating on the ongoing action.
I have no doubt that this is also the reason I am actually unable to meditate. The turmoil in my head doesn’t allow me to be in the present moment. The weeks and months to come will be necessary to try and slow down enough so that eventually things come back to normal.
“If you look into muddy waters you need to stand still until the mud settles on the ground and the waters gets clear again .”
That’s what meditation is all about.